Friday, August 17, 2007

In defense of pink hats

There comes a time in every man's life where he faces an issue that transcends personal interest, an issue of such magnitude and sweeping importance that it cannot be ignored. Even if he is in the minority, a man must stand tall and speak out for what is right, regardless of the consequences.

That day has come. Pink Celtic hats are such an issue. The time for silence has ended. Let us begin...

Now just so you know where I'm coming from- I'm speaking as someone who is against cheerleaders, against jumbotrons, against T-shirt cannons, against mascots, against any in game music not played live on an organ. and against leisurely summer days. In other words I'm not usually open to change; but pink Celtic hats are fine by me. Yes they are.

Sure, it is likely that wearers of such oddly colored headgear might not know quite as much history of the franchise as you would hope. They might not be able tell Sam from KC, carry on a lengthy conversation about Hambone Williams, or enthusiastically discuss obscure nuances of the salary cap...

...but let me point something out. They're coming on board to a team that's going to be a lot of fun to watch, a team that will win, that will play the game right, and has a shot at a title. In other words, the PHer's are smart. Give them credit for that.

Look in the mirror. You know who's not smart? Well I'll tell you: Me for one. And you for another. We who have closely followed this franchise through the years of Stojko Vrankovic, Brett Szabo, Thomas Hamilton and Sebastian Telfair are dangerously insane. New fans should not be measured by those harsh standards.

If more people and new people love the team, that's good. They are not becoming Knicks fans, or God help them Lakers fans. Their hats are not orange and blue, or purple and gold. Their instincts are good and pure and true- they want to be Celtic fans. They are following a noble call.

Remember that pink hat wearer is a human being. That could be someone's sister, someone's mother, someone's pink headed significant other.

Think of pink as a transition color on the road to pure beautiful green. This is the era of an entire new race of embryonic Celtic fans. Welcome these creatures from another world. Show them our simple ways and traditions. Soon they will take us hand in hand as banner 17 is raised. Together we will build a new society- finer, better, and more tolerant to all.


I thank you.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have a point.

But the "pink hatters" are the same people who used to snicker when I said I was going to a Celtic game.

Its not that I HATE them or anything. I just want to somehow make them feel like an outsider. In revenge for the treatment I recieved over the last few years.

I guess I kind of liked the Celtics being a joke because they were our joke. We are the ones who dont know what to do with our Al Jefferson jerseys.

Maybe I'm not explaining it well. But the new crowd will take some getting used to. Especially at the games.

Gant said...

They acted that way because of involuntary nervousness brought on by your manifest Celtic goodness. But now they look up to you, and you must help them and guide them toward the green light.

It's the Celtics code.

Anonymous said...

Although it is always good to have more C's fans i can never support straight fair weather fans and plenty of my friends are. They made fun of me nonstop about the celtics because i play hockey with them and now all of them act like theyve been fans for life. They will be gone again as soon as the rebuilding years come around

Gant said...

If they made fun of you about the Celtics it's most likely a case of demonic possession. If any of them start spinning their heads 360 degrees around while spewing fire from their mouth, that would be clear confirmation that they are in fact pawns of Hades.

If this happens you may want to downgrade them from friends, to the level of just acquaintances.

Anonymous said...

The guy that lives downstairs from me just started strutting around in a brand new Celtics hat.

I've lived here for 2 years and I've never seen his head spin around. But once I saw him at the pool with his shirt off and the word HELP appeared on his stomach. Was that his inner Celtic fan trying to come out even when we sucked? And in the offseason to boot? Gant I think you may be on to something.

Gant said...

Are you certain it wasn't the word HELL that appeared on his stomach? Because that would be bad.

Help is OK. His stomach might just have been hungry.