Saturday, June 30, 2007

10 things about THE TRADE

1) My immediate reaction after hearing about the trade was one of paralyzing despair. After a few hours I moved into a shuddering fetal position, gradually working my way to sitting upright, and finally 24 hours later became fully functional. In other words when I heard about it, I HATED this trade.


2) 10 days before the draft I wrote this:

In summary. I think the Celtics are likely to do things in this order:
--1 Keep the pick and draft a tall Chinese guy.
--2 Keep the pick and draft a tall other guy.
--3 Keep the pick and draft a fleet wingy guy.
--4 Trade the pick and receive an all star who is not insane.
--5 Trade the pick and receive an all star who is insane.
--6 Get a second lottery pick and acquire all the ALs they can.

http://only10things.blogspot.com/2007/06/10-things-10-days-before-draft.html

I think Danny Ainge came very close to choosing option #1 by going with Yi. Instead he chose option #4 and traded for a sane all star.


3) Only hours before the draft Danny said in a WEEI interview that he would not trade a young guy for a vet if he thought the young guy would be nearly as good in two years. Atlanta was leaning to Horford. Memphis to Conley. It sure looked like the Celtics were taking Yi...

4) Next the trade happened. It seemed like Ainge was trading the future for winning more (but not enough) games now. It seemed like Danny had done just the opposite of what he said he would- by acquiring a veteran at the expense of a talented young prospect. It seemed like this made absolutely no sense...

5) THEN THINGS STARTED TO HAPPEN TO CHANGE MY MIND:

*First off, Seattle fans hated the trade too. Huh? How could that be? Oh yeah. I forgot. Ray Allen is pretty danged good— he's just about Paul Pierce good. (Would you trade Paul Pierce for Szczerbiak, West, and the 5th pick?)

*Then people started talking about where the Celtics stood in the East playoff rankings. Not IF, but WHERE.

*Danny Ainge said he thought Ray Allen would be better in the coming years than anyone he could draft.

*I realized you couldn't just make the team great with ONE deal. You had to do an interim deal first to put you in a position where you're one deal away. Was this the right deal to do that?

*Then Ray Allen spoke: Thankfully he talked about how aware he has always been of extending his career longevity- of the special attention he pays to diet and exercise.

Hang on now, I thought, if everything goes right it's just slightly possible this deal might work out.


6) But how??

Ok, the first thing that has to happen is Ray Allen MUST stay healthy and productive. must Must MUST!

THEN, the Celtics HAVE to make another deal or two before the season begins. The Celtics cannot go into November with just Perkins and Jefferson as their only height. (Yes Ratliff is on a contact year, and contract years do have a way of healing a variety of ailments— but we'll hold off on Theo-talk, since Mr. Ratliff will be included in any other trade that might come along.)

Anyway, the Celtics biggest need going into the draft was for a long mobile agile defensively-skilled big man with a Kirilenko-Garnett-Dalembert body type. They STILL desperately need that guy, plus now they need a back up veteran point too.

If these three things happen: long guy, vet point, healthy Ray— everything will be super. Oh man, this is a huge risk.


7) In looking at the trade from a Seattle perspective I don't know why they did it. Why not have Ray Allen there to take the heat off Durant? Instead they're throwing all possible pressure on Mr. young wunderkind. That's hard. They could have made it easier on their young star.

8) Back to the Celtics: MORE DEALS MUST COME. Otherwise this will NOT be good.

But if everything works out here are the benefits: Boston will be a destination for free agents. Ray Allen's the guy to do what Szczerbiak could not— take the pressure off Pierce, spread the floor and balance the offense, pull the double teams off Paul and Al, and guide the young fellas.

Here's the question that turned it all around for me: How many assists a game do you think Rondo is going to get with Pierce on one side, Ray Allen on the other and Jefferson down low??? The answer is plen-freakin-ty.

AS LONG AS RAY IS HEALTHY
AS LONG AS RAY IS HEALTHY
AS LONG AS RAY IS HEALTHY

Please stay well Ray Allen. Please. Stay young- functionally young anyway. Stay strong. Keep playing at the same level you did last year for 4 or 5 more years. Everything depends on it. IF that happens, this was a good trade. What a gamble...


9) The second rounders: All winter I was dreaming of a Summer League team with Greg Oden. ...then after May 22nd with Yi. ...now the top 2007 Celtics pick playing is Gabe Pruitt. What a change.

I LOVE Big Baby! He's got super quick and nimble feet for a guy with such bulk. If he gets into top shape he'll be very good. (Had the Seattle trade not happened, I'm sure he would have been picked at 32 instead of Pruitt.)


10) ...Now we watch and wait and see what happens next. Danny and Doc both know it: another trade is needed. There's lots of great players on the market now. Ratliff has the biggest expiring contract available. Make that next trade... it's the only way to make this one make sense.


...Hey, the Seattle deal is done. The choice of path has been made. The Celtics will win next season. They will be a playoff team. Now that the direction has been decided: Win all you can! Knock em down one after the other, and remember what it's like to be dangerous again.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Lazy mock draft

You've read tons of mock drafts written by diligent, hard-working people who have put tremendous time and effort into analyzing tonight's event.

Well let me tell you— I'm not falling into that "time and effort" trap. No way...


Here it is, my lazy Celtic-centric mock draft written BY someone who has read far too many mocks FOR people who have read far too many mocks:

1) Portland: Big great center guy

2) Seattle: Long breathtaking wing guy

3) Atlanta: Horford

4) Memphis: Conley

5) Boston: Yi

6-31): A bunch of other guys

32) Boston: I don't know

33-60): I don't care


(Written in just a few minutes utilizing very little thought, while sitting around wearing shorts and drinking a smoothie. A new all time lack-of-effort mock draft record!)

In fact, I put so little effort in, I believe I'm now qualified to work for ESPN!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Boston's Minnesota first rounder is in peril

The Timberwolves seem intent on trading Kevin Garnett for youth and picks.

(From the Szczerbiak deal) The Celtics are slated to get a Minnesota first rounder two years after the Wolves finish outside the bottom ten. This is because a top 10 protected Minny pick must first go to the Clippers, followed by a two year waiting period.

There is a league mandated expiration date on that pick to the Celtics. The Wolves must finish outside the bottom ten by 2010— that's three more seasons. Otherwise the first rounder turns Cinderella-like, into an measly second rounder. (insert ominous organ music)

If the Wolves swap Garnett for youth, there's a really good chance they will stay really bad for a really long time in the deep tough West.

This is something to keep in mind when (and if) Minnesota makes their big trade.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

10 things Sunday before the draft

This is getting exciting...


1) On the Garnett-Is-Angered-About-Coming-To-Boston issue— The whole thing reminds me of the Incredible Hulk:

It's like hearing Bruce Banner, "What's that you say? But I don't want to be traded to Boston. This agitates me. I'm losing control! Must stay calm. OH NO, too late! Turning into...Big Ticket... RAAAR! I GARNETT! KG ANGRY!! ARRRRGH!!!!"


2) Kobe's angry too for some reason. So is Jermaine O'Neal. How come all these pampered overpaid rich guys are angry? I mean, what do they have to be so angry about? Not enough Lamborghinis, mansions and pate´?

3) I will reveal this about myself: I actually make less than 10 million dollars a year. Yes. It's very unfortunate, but it's true. It's hard to believe but I make substantially less than a maximum salary NBA player, AND I'M NOT ANGRY!

4) Wait a sec maybe I am angry. That sounded a little surly right there. Oh yeah— I know what I'm angry about: I'm angry that the Celtics haven't had a whiff of any savory championship fragrance in 21 years!

NOW that I think more about it‚— Oh goodness... I'm losing control. Must stay calm. OH NO, too late! ARRRRRGH!! CHANGING! CAN'T STOP!

...GANT MAD!!!


5) MMRRRRRRRGGGHHHH:

HAWKS KEY TO LOTTERY! DETERMINE EVERYONE ELSE CHOICE! GOOD ARTICLE AT AJC.COM! MUST POST LINK!!!

HAWKS CHOOSE BETWEEN HORFORD, CONLEY, YI, —WRIGHT TOO! HORFORD AND CONLEY WORK OUT MONDAY! RRRRRRRR!


6) RRRGHRrrghh- mmmm. I'm calm again.

We've all heard for years that the Celtics should choose between going for vets and going completely for youth. The whole Garnett rumor certainly is about giving up on promising youth for winning now. But what if they go the other way?

If Paul Pierce does "request" a trade how about this: IF and only if they HAVE to trade Pierce, how about sending him to the Lakers for a package that includes Bynum (and Odom)?

You'd end up with an awesome young lineup to grow with:

Bynum, Perkins
Jefferson, Gomes
Odom, Yi
West, Green, Allen
Rondo


7) You could put a monster big frontline on the court of Bynum, Jefferson and Yi. That's a tough match up. It would mean more years of pain, but the return down the line would almost certainly be good.

8) Would the Lakers even do that? They've been holding on to Bynum for dear life; and Pierce and Kobe are pretty redundant players. But it would make for good publicity and sell tickets in LA. ...Nah. Never happen. Forget I said it.

9) And forget I ever said anything about Law having a promise by Atlanta for the 11th spot. I realized this a little slowly: If you were a young point guard in the 2007 draft, you'd refuse a workout with the Hornets too. Sitting on the bench forever behind Chris Paul is the last thing you'd want to do for your career. That's why Law didn't work out for New Orleans. Atlanta had nothing to do with it. Brain lock for me.

10) I love the draft. This is like Christmas. I hope we get something good. Most of the gifts are made in China now. I hope ours is.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Feelings

1) Did you get your feelings hurt?

Kevin Garnett doesn't want to play for the Celtics. Shawn Marion doesn't want to play for the Celtics. Do you feel like no one loves you? Buck up there buddy— you have many fine qualities and somewhere out in this great wide world, there's a special all-star waiting just for you. C'mon don't be shy, admit it: You're magnetically attractive given the right circumstances— and just because Garnett and Marion love someone else doesn't mean that there isn't a quick shifty guard, or a fleet multi-talented wing player, or a hulking yet skilled center who wants to be with your franchise and only your franchise.

Sometimes these things take time.


2) Maybe if you think about the undisputed worst song ever written, you'll feel better: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feelings_(song)

C'mon. Sing along with me. Here's some horrible lyrics from that criminally horrible song to cheer you up:

Feelings, nothing more than feelings,
trying to forget my feelings of love.
Teardrops rolling down on my face,
trying to forget my feelings of love...

Feelings, wo-wo-wo feelings, wo-wo-wo, feelings again in my arms.
Feelings...



3) Oh screw all that! Listen, you just avoided getting run over by a train. The deal falling apart is the best thing that never happened to you! You almost lost Al Jefferson, the 5th pick, AND who knows what else for a guy who has like 18% of his productive career left. To quote the great departed Red Auerbach, "Sometimes the best trades are the ones you don't make."

4) Speaking of that, here's a related though UNVERIFIED rumor from way back when: In the early 80's right after the huge deal in which Auerbach sent the rights to the first pick in the draft (Joe Barry Carrol) in exchange for Robert Parish and the 3rd pick (Kevin McHale), SUPPOSEDLY Red called up the Nets and asked for a trade. He was worried about Parish who had come over from Golden State with some baggage, so he asked the Nets if they'd take Parish and Tiny Archibald for Mike Newlin and Footsie Walker.

The Nets, fearful of being fleeced by Auerbach, turned him down.


5) Fortunately that rumored trade never happened. Well in my opinion the Celtics just similarly lucked out again. Because where were they going next with a depleted roster, TWO 20 million dollar guys, Brian Scalabrine and Allan Ray? To put it simply, the price was too high. Do you think Al Jefferson's value has peaked? It hasn't. He's going to get better, more productive, and MORE valuable in the next few years.

While Kevin Garnett will not.


6) Another thing was revealed by this near-deal experience. The way I read it— this is verification that Wyc, Steve and other rich guy -whatever his name is- YES INDEED WILL spend money if they feel it elevates the team into contenders. If you're willing to have two 20 million dollar players on the roster, you're paying the luxury tax at some point. So good for you Wyc, Steve and other guy. Way to go! Way to NOT be Paul Gaston Jr.!

7) Speaking of Gaston the lesser... Where do you think he is now? Do you think he's seen the error of his ways, has given up all worldly possessions, is living in a monestary in Lowell, has taken 2 vows- one of poverty and the other of silence -and is content in spending his remaining days in silent contemplation of his numerous sins against the glorious green franchise?

My guess: probably not. But you never know...


8) So maybe we're back to drafting instead of trading. Good! Heres' a tidbit from NewsOK.com:

"One day after working out for the Atlanta Hawks, Texas A&M's All-American point guard Acie Law on Thursday pulled out of his scheduled workout with the Hornets, which was to be held today at an Edmond fitness center.'

If true, that means Law will be chosen by Atlanta at spot 11, which in turn means the Hawks will go big with Horford, Wright, or maybe Yi at #3. Hmmm.

Possibly Law is the third name you can write in ink in your mock draft (along with you know who, and you know who else).


9) The last thing I want to discuss about the deal that didn't happen is the friendship between Kevin McHale and Danny Ainge. Obviously I have no idea of what the real conversation was, but I do know this: If I was out carousing with a buddy, having a great night, sharing some beer and laughs— AND then later when I was driving home and looked in the back seat of my car and saw a huge package— well the first thing I'd think was, "Isn't that nice. Kevin got me a gift." BUT THEN, when I stopped the car and unwrapped the package and found crappy old Marco Jaric inside, I'd be pretty pissed. Wouldn't you? I mean fun is fun, but sticking a buddy with Marco Jaric crosses the line!

Forget it Kevin. Al Jefferson is already too much to give up. And you keep your lousy overpaid Jaricy, Hudsony guards.


10) That was sure a fun 36 hour ride. Wasn't it? Now we're back where we were before: Probably drafting 5th. Maybe a trade will happen. I think the Celtics will end up with Yi.


...I hope you feel better.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Workouts have done nothing to change Ainge's mind

Sometimes an answer is put right in front of us and we don't even notice. For example, Scott Souza had a very good article in yesterday's paper: http://www.dailynewstribune.com/sports/x237163644


Particularly interesting was this short paragraph:

"Furthermore, Wallace indicated that he couldn't "steal'' Ainge's pick even if he wanted to because he doesn't know who it might be. While Ainge repeated following a draft workout yesterday that he has a list in his mind and could have done the draft the day after the Final Four ended, Wallace said he has no preconceived notions on the No. 4 selection."

And out of that, please READ THIS PHRASE CAREFULLY: "...Ainge repeated following a draft workout yesterday that he has a list in his mind and could have done the draft the day after the Final Four ended..."

There it is... Danny Ainge has just told you that NOTHING he has seen in any workout has changed his mind about the draft since very early April. Not one iota. He would have done the draft then EXACTLY the same as now.


I find this very interesting. So I went back to see what I thought BEFORE my mind got polluted by all these workout reports, BEFORE the Lottery-Of-Doom.2, BEFORE the Celtics fell to the 5th pick; when we were all young and naive and carefree (oh what simple happy days those were!):

Me on April 2nd, 2007: "OK, so if it's 1 or 2, you definitely keep the pick and get Oden or Durant. Either way is sensational. You drop to 3 or 4, you might keep the pick, but you do explore the market.

I got a feeling Danny Ainge likes someone else out there besides the big two. Not as much, but like Rondo last year there's a player he wouldn't mind at all having on the roster. Yi and B. Wright are the best bets..."


Wow, I didn't even acknowledge the 5th position as a viable possibility.

What I did think was, if the Celtics kept the pick they'd end up with Brandan Wright or Yi. I still do.

Danny Ainge is definitely more of a long term thinker than the majority of fans, and virtually all Boston sportswriters. Otherwise he would not have set the now unbreakable all time record for acquiring high school players. If he keeps the pick and feels the best guy in the draft lacks experience (like maybe Yi) he'll still take him.

He won't take what he feels is a lesser guy just to help right now. At least he never has before.


---6/21/07 (one day later): A lot has happened in 24 hours! Rumors are flying everywhere from Steve Bulpett in the Herald, to WEEI, and many other places that this Minnesota deal for Garnett might be for real. Wow! This is going to be a wild week.

Monday, June 18, 2007

10 things 10 days before the draft

Back for another shift in the draft mines. It sure is dark in here. Confusing too, what with all these different corridors. Look— my canary just died! Darn. He was the only who knew the right tunnel to take to get out. Oh well. Here's more draft ruminations:

1) Yes the Celtics could take a wing.... But my money's on a tall guy. At spot 5 at least one of Horford, Yi, or Brandan Wright will be available. The answer is simple: just pick the one that's left. If Conley goes beforehand, you get your choice of two of them. Just like it has been for months it looks like Yi or B., and I think that means Yi. Simple simple simple: The team needs a tall guy; get a tall guy.

2) Why I think the Celtics WON'T trade out of this draft unless somebody knocks their hosiery off: Because they got burned doing so last year. You could toast marshmallows on that Telfair deal.

No matter what you think of last year's draft day swap with Portland (I like Ainge but I think it was one of his worst moments) the Celtics are going to be doubly wary about pulling out again. (If a vet all-star is there they might have to do it, but any Rashard Lewis deal couldn't include the 5th pick. In that case you might be able to have your draft pick and your vet too.)


3) I also believe they not-so-secretly LOVE a few guys in this draft. One of them is Al Thornton. So among all the Trade Up—Trade Down—Trade Out scenarios, let me add one more possibility: How about trading for a SECOND lottery pick? When they went into the draft last year they had no picks. By the end of the day they had a first and second rounder. (As disappointed as I was in the Telfair deal that day, I really liked the Rondo trade.)

4) How about this for a longshot?: Atlanta and Memphis end up leaving Horford on the board. The Celtics then pick Al Horford at 5. Moments later a trade is announced and they acquire a 2nd pick in the late lottery and use that one to pick Al Thornton. Opening next season you have a frontline of Jefferson, Horford, and Thornton. That's an AL-star frontline— an ALL-AL frontline— when they're all on the court together and Delonte yells "AL!" everybody but Pierce is going to freeze and look over.

Can you bet on the 3-AL possibility in Las Vegas? Probably.

(Does Allan Ray count as an AL? Because then we'd be one AL short of immortality. The first team to put five ALs on the court at once! ALs everywhere would rejoice.)


5) Even though the Telfair deal was pretty miserable, the one good thing that could still come out of it is that the Celtics have the big expiring contract of Ratliff to use in a trade. In fact they have Szczerbiak's contract expiring the year after. One of those two big bundles of money is going to have to be used to re-sign young players. But one might bring something good back. As Sean Grande pointed out on the Celticsstufflive interview the other night, the Celtics are one of the few teams to have both expiring money and young talent to trade with. This is very enviable and a sign that the team has in fact made some honestly tangible progress in the last few years since the Battie-old-days when they had very little that anyone wanted.

6) Think about it. You hear the rumored swaps including names like Garnett, Gasol, Lewis, Marion, the wacky southern California guy, and other all-stars— and every single time the Celtics are rumored to be part of it. Not only is it realistic that the Celtics could acquire one of those players, but you find yourself saying, "No. Not me. I'm not trading Jefferson AND the 5th pick" or some variation of that. I mean can you imagine a few years ago saying, " No way I'm giving up Eric Williams, Jiri Welsch, AND Bruno Sundov for an all star. Uh uh. No freakin' way. We're keeping Bruno. He's untouchable!"

7) In other words, The Celtics already HAVE made a big jump. Not in their record- not yet. But in putting together an impressive group of assets including picks, players, and expiring contracts they COULD possibly make a big leap forward this year— especially if they stay healthy (That alone is worth about 15 more wins. Isn't it?).

8) Speaking of mines: Chris Wallace and Jerry West, the two West Virginians have joined forces sort of. Anyone know what the etiquette is as far as Wallace working for the Griz but knowing EVERYTHING about who the Celtics want in the draft? There must be some sort of protocol for this, otherwise the Celtics would just tie him up and duct tape his mouth until June 29th.

Leo Papile seems like he'd be really good at duct taping peoples' mouths, doesn't he?


9) And speaking of Papile: Ronco, the company started by Ron Popeil just went into chapter 11. I guess no one needs a Veg-O-matic or a Pocket Fisherman anymore. What a shame. ...Wait a minute. How did we get here? Oh I know: my seeing-eye canary died in the first paragraph and I lost my way. Focus. Focus...

10) In summary. I think the Celtics are likely to do things in this order:
--1 Keep the pick and draft a tall Chinese guy.
--2 Keep the pick and draft a tall other guy.
--3 Keep the pick and draft a fleet wingy guy.
--4 Trade the pick and receive an all star who is not insane.
--5 Trade the pick and receive an all star who is insane.
--6 Get a second lottery pick and acquire all the ALs they can.


However you look at it, they'll be better next year.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Trouble with team names

I'm taking a short breather from draft stuff. Frankly I'm all Yied out for the moment.


Instead I want to talk about something completely irrelevant, which is NBA team names.

Once upon a time all the team names made sense. They either had tradition or the names related to the history of their region, or both. Everything was blissful and all was right with the universe.

Then four screwy things happened:
--1 Teams shortened their names.
--2 Styles got stupid.
--3 Teams moved.
--4 The Bobcats.


Let's take these in order:

TEAMS SHORTENED THEIR NAMES: Bad move. I liked the old names. But somehow the Knickerbockers became the Knicks; the Supersonics the Sonics; the 76ers the Sixers; and the Trailblazers the Blazers. I don't know why they did this. Maybe it was because some marketing consultants told the league they'd make 1.6% more money if they shortened the names. Maybe it was just the era's zeitgeist what with J-Lo and T-Mac and other ridiculous nicknames being the order of the day. Who knows? At any rate I miss the Super, the Seventy, the Trail and mostly the delightful Erbockers.


STYLES GOT STUPID: In particular I point to the SINGULAR names, Heat and Magic. Before, almost all team names were plural. I mean Phoenix could have called themselves the Sun (after all there is only one; those other far away lights are called stars); but they called themselves Suns. That's perfect. It's plural, it's regional for an area that's sunny like 364 days a year. It just fits. Good job Phoenix. But Miami and Orlando—I shake my head at your lack of s's— after all this time I still can't get used to it.

Even worse is the Raptors. Let me tell you a story: Long ago when the great city of Toronto got their franchise, there was a movie trilogy that was really popular. It was off the charts popular. They were called the Jurassic Park films. They were Big BIG box office! So what happens? ...Toronto apparently decides to ride the wave and go with a trendy dinosaur theme. Well that might have been cool at the time, for like two months. But now? It makes no sense. I mean if Toronto was starting their franchise in 2007 would they call their team The Carribean Pirates? Or maybe go with the Harry Potter mania and call themselves the Wizards? ...Nevermind, that one's taken.

Speaking of the Wizards- I loved their old name: The Baltimore Bullets. That just rolls off the tongue. It was great. But then look what happened: People stopped killing people while at the same time guns started killing a real lot of people and the word Bullets took on a negative meaning. Too bad.

(By the way I like when the first letter of the city and of the team nickname is the same, like: Baltimore Bullets, Washington Wizards, and Los Angeles Lakers. A franchise gets an extra gold star on their collective forehead for that.)


TEAMS MOVED: Have you ever been to Los Angeles? They have lots and lots of swimming pools, but honest-to-goodness LAKES are not exactly prevalent. This is (as you know) because the franchise moved from the splooshy north country and took their cool name with them. That's a long standing NBA trend- taking great regionally devised nicknames and transplanting them where they seem almost embarrassingly out of place...

...for example the Utah Jazz. Miles Davis and Mingus are just not the first things that come to mind when thinking of the Great Salt Lake! Wait a minute— Let's test it: OK. I'll say a word and you quickly say the first thing that pops into your head. Here it is: UTAH ...pause for your answer... (insert Jeopardy music) ...Time's up! You didn't say, "Charlie Parker" did you? I didn't think so.

Here's another franchise who is a sad victim of name displacement: The New Orleans Hornets. The name Hornets was originally given to Charlotte because it comes from a comment by the British General Cornwallis in the revolutionary war, who when he was frustrated by the unexpected fierceness of Carolina Colonial fighters compared them to hornets.


THE BOBCATS: It's an ok name, but come on. As far as I know there's a rule against an owner nicknaming the team after himself. Still, Charlotte owner Robert Johnson managed to do just that with the name BOBcats. That's cheesy.

(By the way, I hope there really IS such a rule, because otherwise the Celtics could easily become the Wiccans. (Which is not too bad actually) ...think about it. On second thought- don't bother.



Anyway, the point of all this is that I have devised solutions to all these problems with dumb team names. First, the Magic become Magicians. That's easy.

Then we do a three team name rotation thing where the name Jazz goes back to New Orleans where it belongs. New Orleans Jazz- perfect except for the singularity thing- but I don't think you can call them The Jazzes can you? Then the Hornets name goes back to Charlotte making everyone there happy. That's followed by allowing Utah owner Larry Miller a one time only waiver on the not-naming-the-team-after-yourself rule and the Utah franchise becomes the Larrycats! Who could possibly object to that? That's right, no one. Absolutely no one.

Finally the Heat can have that terrific suffix that was discarded by New York, and they become the Heaterbockers!

Perfect. All problems solved! You see what can happen when you put your mind to it?


(One last thing: Thank God no one combined the trends of name shortening and singularization, and applied it to team names. Otherwise we'd be following B-CELT.)



Now back to your regularly scheduled draft talk...

Sunday, June 10, 2007

10 things about Splitter, draft sites, and Brazilian music

1) Tiago Splitter: Doesn't it feel like you've seen Splitter's name on draft sites just about forever? It seems like he's been on there year after year since about 1984. I believe I can vaguely remember trying to figure out who to choose between Tiago Splitter and Sam Perkins should it ever come down to it.

2) Here's an excerpt from www.prehistoricdraftsite.com circa mid 80's:

"Sam Perkins. Power Forward, North Carolina. Strengths: long skilled power forward who can score both inside and outside. Weaknesses: Can lose concentration and disappear for periods of the game.

"Tiago Splitter. Center, Brazil. Strengths: Large defensive oriented big man with great court presence. Weaknesses: Not born yet. Despite not yet existing, Tiago is still expected to go in the late first round."

That was the first of like 23 drafts that Splitter pulled out of. Here it is decades later and Splitter finally HAS to be in the draft. No more eligibilty for you Tiago, Mr. All-Time Undisputed King of Name Withdrawers...


3) ...Which leads to a this: For the past 23 years Draftexpress and NBAdraft.net have strongly disagreed on Splitter's draft placement, with DX regularly placing him very high and NBAdraft.net pretty low. Now look though: In this, the year Splitter will finally really be drafted, the two sites aren't far off at all with DX dropping him DOWN to 18 (from solid top 10 in previous years) and NBAdraft.net moving him UP to 22 (from occasional second round status)...

4) ...This in turn leads to a discussion of the two preeminent draft websites. I say the following with all possible admiration, because in my opinion both sites do just a miraculous job: Aran Smith at NBAdraft.net; and Jonathan Givony, Eric Weiss and others over at DX seem like bright people, are dedicated, and extremely good at what they do. But let's face it, these guys have to be OUT OF THEIR MINDS! (To put it in context, they're EVEN MORE FAR GONE than you and me who spend way too much of our time on the internet reading about this sport.)

As far as I can tell, these draftniks travel the nation and even the world for no better reason than to give us the latest buzz on Stanko Barac's upper body concerns. Seemingly all they live for is finding out how well Herbert Hill boxes out and to gauge Taurean Green's ball handling skills. And unlike you and me they don't just think about it- they actually GET ON PLANES to verify such questions! If that's not dedication to the point of complete scary, no-sharp-objects-please insanity, I don't know what is.

5) I want to pause right here thank them for it. I do not want to go back to a world without such wonderful websites. Thank you draft guru sites. Thank you. Keep up the great work and please call a helpline if you're ever feeling down.

6) I often read comparisons between these two good-to-the-point-of-being-insane draft sites, complimenting one at the expense of the other. I just want to say I don't see the point of choosing between them and like them both. I would even go as far as saying I like them both very very much.


7) Since Tiago Splitter is from Brazil, I interrupt to list my three favorite Brazilian musicians:

--1 Antonio Carlos Jobim
--2 Laurindo Almeida (His soft ballad-filled album with Sammy Davis Jr. is just about the best thing Sammy ever recorded! It's called: Sammy Davis, Jr. sings, Laurindo Almeida plays.)
--3 Astrud Gilberto


8) How will Yi fit the Celtics after they draft him IF they draft him?: The Celtics desperately need help in the long/agile department on both ends of the floor. Reportedly Yi is not yet much of a defender, though with his size and athleticism I don't see why he can't theoretically become one.

It's on offense where he'll help right away. Here's how: The Celtics always get open mid-range shots. With Jefferson in the low post and Pierce driving, the outside guys get tons of good looks. The problem until now was they had no one to draw away the opposition's interior defender to cover the perimeter. Gomes draws out a smaller guy. But IF YI CAN PLAY he will automatically bring a big guy with him, and in doing so screw up the other team's whole defense. They can't just send a small forward out on him, because Yi will pop over the top all night.

Big man out of the post, everybody rotates. Lots of good looks inside and out. That's my fantasy anyway.


9) This Marion trade rumor does make one thing clear: Even though the lottery went really badly, all that losing still has a huge pay off potential. I mean Shawn Marion's pretty darned good and the Celtics turned the deal down. That ought to be an indicator that the team is adding someone formidable to the roster on June 28th, either by draft or trade.

That Suns team is one to watch since they dumped draft picks the last few years to avoid the dreaded lux tax, and are even in more danger this year. I wonder if Amare will become available.

(Isn't it comforting to know that gazillionaires have budget problems too?)


10) In honor of the Sopranos finale I can only say this: They made the flagrant foul a way of life.

Friday, June 8, 2007

10 things about the Da Vinci Code and Whack a Mole

1) Word is that Danny Ainge has once again called Seattle to explore the possibility of acquiring Robert Swift. This is where I make a confession: I READ THE DA VINCI CODE! Yes it's true. (Boy is that a relief to get off my chest.)

I do realize that I, along with 40 million other people, am going to hell for all eternity for reading that book. But hey— even though the thermostat is kept up way too high down there, they have a terrific library. All the best books are available!


2) What does this have to do with the Celtics? Everything. Because author Dan Brown got his translation of the phrase "Sangreal" completely wrong.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Grail

Mr. Brown, along with many other scholars mistakenly thought Sangreal meant "Royal Blood." While that interpretation does have some merit, the actual meaning is: "Tall skinny gawky guy who was on the injured list for Seattle most of last season."

Robert Swift, the Holy Grail.


3) Let's face it, Danny Ainge just has a THING for Robert Swift. He LOVES the guy! Personally one of my greatest challenges in recent years has been willing myself to stay up late enough to watch the Celtics when they play on the west coast— so I've hardly ever seen Robert Swift play.

But there's no doubt he's the Holy Grail. None of us can rest until he wears green. None of us. So it is written... apparently.


4) The other reason I have not seen much of Swift, was until May 22nd the Seattle Sonics just have not been worth watching.

I now pause to weep. They got Durant. Ugh.


5) The Celtics have had little luck for two decades now. But I swear that will not last. Some day, some way, it will all change and the franchise will be restored.

6) The Celtics ended up with the worst possible scenario on lottery night- the 5th pick. For 21 years things have been going pretty much steadily horribly wrong. What makes us keep the faith??? WHAT IS IT?

7) Let me digress for a moment. I have a buddy who was a long long long time Knicks fan. I called him up a couple of years back to talk hoops and he shocks me! What does he tell me?: He announces he's no longer a Knicks fan. HE'S BECOME A SPURS FAN! My friend switched to the Spurs! That's like changing religions. I think, "This can't be right."

So after he told me, I paused. "WHAT?!?!?" I thought to myself. Can you really do that? Can you just switch your hoop allegiances like that?

I looked into my heart and came up with the answer. Which is: Yes, you can change your religion, provided you're a Knicks fan or some other fan. But you CAN'T if you follow the Boston Celtics. No. No way.

8) Put it this way. When Michael Jordan won six titles and the entire rest of the world was going ga ga, you know what old time Celtics fans said? They said, "Six titles. That's pretty good."

That's why the Celtics are special. SOME DAY the universe will come back into correct alignment and the green teams will be the greatest of all again.

That day will be glorious.


9) WHACK A MOLE: Admit it. You've hammered moles. You didn't like it much, but you did it anyway. Good for you. Keep at it.

There's a lesson to be learned from that dumb game. Which is, starting right now draft prospects rise and fall quickly. It's early in the process. My feeling is that guys who have been whacked down recently like Brandan Wright and Conley, have plenty of time to jump up again before June 28th. And some guys who are currently flying high will get scrutinized closely and may get hammered down before the draft.

10) That's why this month is so much fun- because you get to try and weed all the false information from the real stuff. June has become one of my favorite months for this reason.

I only want one thing for future Junes: That it becomes my favorite month because the Celtics are STILL PLAYING.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

10 things that lead to a conclusion about pick 5

1) Here are the players the Boston Celtics are probably looking at in the upcoming draft:

Corey Brewer
Mike Conley, Jr.
Jeff Green
Spencer Hawes
Al Horford
Yi Jianlian
Joakim Noah
Al Thornton
Brandan Wright
Julian Wright

2) Right away I want to eliminate these guys from consideration no matter where the Celtics choose: Hawes, Conley, and Julian Wright.

3) If the Celtics trade down they could choose either Thornton or Noah. But at 5, you can eliminate those two as well.

4) If the Celtics keep the 5th pick there are four real possiblities, maybe five. Three bigs, and I guess two wings:

Brandan Wright
Horford
Yi
Green
and possibly Brewer

5) Having said that, I don't really see Brewer (especially after measurements) as so outstanding that he can overcome the team's whopping positional needs. You go with best player available, but if it's really close, position is the determining factor. Plus if you draft Brewer aren't you saying slamming the door on Gerald Green? (I'm not ready to do that and I don't think the Celtics are either.)

6) So let's eliminate Brewer. Here's who's left:

Brandan Wright
Horford
Yi
Green

7) By the time the 5th pick comes around, one or two of those guys will be gone; and two or three of those guys will still be on the board. Jeff Green will almost surely be available. (Barring trades, Green will definitely be there for Boston if they want him. He duplicates half the players on Atlanta's roster and he duplicates Gay in Memphis.)

Here's some factors to consider:

--Conley. Atlanta needs a point. Memphis needs a point. Portland or someone else might want Conley enough to trade above Milwaukee for him. (Though trading that high will be tough.)
If Conley is taken at 3 or 4, the Celtics are helped.

--Horford. Realistically, he's the least likely guy to be available at 5. He's strong; his measurements eliminated size doubts; he's skilled. He's probably not great but he's surely good, and he fills Memphis' other need aside from point. in other words there's a high probability he'll be gone before 5.

8) That leaves three players: Brandan Wright, Yi, or Green.

Every draftee gets heavily scrutinized and gets a buzz going, negative or positive before the draft. Wright's negative buzz has come pretty early so he has plenty of time to turn that around. Workouts will be key for him.


9) Unless Green just ABSOLUTELY makes the Celtics picture themselves on a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies- THAT LEAVES YI. For some time I have thought Yi is being targeted by Boston. There have been many bits of information saying the Celtics have a huge interest in this guy. There is little reason to doubt that it's all true.

Then came the surprising news that Yi skipped not only the physical workouts, but the measurements too! That means Yi will refuse to work out for teams he doesn't want to go to, and you can safely bet Atlanta and Memphis are among them.

I doubt he will avoid Boston. (Remember Yi's close personal encounter with Celtic's Esquire, and his positive words about the our beloved franchise?) Boston is a big market team where (if Yi's a player) he could easily step right in as the Celtics have an enormous need for a long agile guy.

Why else skip measurements?: BECAUSE his measurements are off the charts! Why else hide them? He's not short and slow!!

Yi does not want a team like Atlanta to have those statistics in front of them and choose him ANYWAY. (Reports are he's incredibly long and very nifty for a big man.) So he avoided giving ANY reason he could for what he considers undesirable franchises to choose him.


10) This leads to trade scenarios: (We have renentered the Dirk Zone.) No one is complaining about landing Pierce with the 10th pick way back when, but Nowitzki turned out even better. Nelson traded to get him (giving up a shot at Tractor Traylor! How could he?).

Here it is years later and behold, Yi's name has been linked to Nelson's Warriors plus the Chicago Bulls.

Why I don't think either will be able to trade ahead of Boston: This is not exactly the same situation as 1998 where all you had to do was move up to the 9th position. Moving up to the 3rd or 4th spot is much more difficult. Chicago will try, but they won't mess with their core and without doing so, it won't be enough. I don't see Golden State tempting either Memphis or Atlanta with spare parts either.


So once again I see it going something like this:

Atlanta: Wright or Conley or Horford (in that order)
Memphis: Horford or Conley
Boston: Yi

Saturday, June 2, 2007

A deduction, mistakes corrected, a beverage, and a song list

(originally posted on realgm)

Let's put together some recent tidbits and see what happens:

*Yi is skipping physicals in order to "control the process."

What does this mean?: It means Yi definitely wants to influence where he ends up. That in turn means he's going to refuse workouts with certain teams.

*Horford measured plenty big. Surprise surprise, for me anyway. That's great news, because it either means he'll be taken before the Celtics or be worthy of their 5th pick.

*Atlanta is rumored to love Brandan Wright.

***What it all might add up to is this:
Atlanta: B. Wright
Memphis: Horford (or maybe Brewer)
Boston: Yi.


Other items of interest, or perhaps of no interest:

*Not only was I mistaken about Horford's size, but also Cleveland's chances. LeBron is still younger than Bird was during his rookie year. It's pretty scary to think what Cleveland will be when he gets some talent around him.
The situation reminds me of very young Michael Jordan who played with these other starters when he scored 63 against Boston in the playoffs:
Dave Corzine
Orlando Woolridge
rookie Charles Oakley
Kyle Macy

*Bourbon update: I finally finished my bottle of Knob Creek, and tried Evan Williams Kentucky Straight Sour Mash Bourbon Whiskey- and let me testify I like it even better. Funny thing is, it costs way less. But it is a finely distilled, 7 year aged bourbon, that is delightful to both the discerning palate and inner spirit. Four stars!

*Donovan signs with Orlando for a boatload of simoleons.

Donovan is to be lauded. Not only did he win two consecutive national championships, but he's also the greatest Scottish folk singer ever.

Here are my five favorite Donovan songs:
1) Sunshine Superman
2) Atlantis
3) To Susan On The West Coast Waiting
4) Please Don't Bend
5) The Trip

I don't know how anyone has time to recruit, coach, and write so many great songs too. Amazing.


*Watch and see where Yi works out and where he refuses to go, that will tell a lot.

Friday, June 1, 2007

10 things post-lottery

(Originally posted on realgm)

1) After the lottery I locked myself in a room and didn't bathe, eat, or shave for 9 days. It was a great thing to do. I feel terrific now. Really. The fetid smell and paranoid feel of living as a decaying hermit is very revitalizing. (Try it. You'll love being putrid while wallowing in lottery sorrow.) Now showered, groomed, and spiritually purified, I'm ready for the draft.

2) Tony Brown: How did that guy do 41 halftime television interviews and never once come close to saying anything either funny or interesting?

3) Yi: I notice there's a 10 page anti-Yi thread going on (great post Celtics Esquire).
I've never seen Yi play, but without rational basis hope the Celtics pick him:
--Why #1: Ainge is a good drafter. If Danny picks him that's a strong indicator he'll turn out fine.
--Why#2: Yi is legit tall and can legit shoot. And he can legit jump.
--Why #3: It makes the Celtics relevant. If Yi can play he'll bring more buzz to the franchise than any nonoden/nondurant draftee.

4) Horford: The measurements should be out soon. His stats will be the ones I'll look at first. I think he might measure small. He's skilled, but I wonder about his height.

5) Jim O'Brien is employed again. What? Why? Wow. Walker-Walter-Waytoomanythrees-Where'stherebounding?... I'm having debilitating flashbacks.

6) I'm thrilled with the vote of confidence Ainge gave Rondo when he said he wouldn't consider Conley. Rondo's the man. Soon everyone everywhere will know this...

7) ...Which means if this year's draftee is a real contributor, (and he SHOULD be- he HAS TO BE- this is a strong draft) then the Celtics will soon have four legitimate players in Jefferson, Pierce, draft pick, and Rondo. Four real players in the East— that means they have to be a threat to rise lickety quickly. Doesn't it?

8) Or else there will be a trade, and then it will be even more certain that the Celtics dramatically improve. All it takes is health, and one more really good player being added somehow.

9) Atlanta and Memphis: I bet one takes Horford just for his safe bet label (though that didn't work out too good with Shelden Williams last year did it?).
If Atlanta reaches for Conley and Memphis grabs Horford, then Boston ends up with, in my opinion, the same two guys they would have been choosing between if they had the third pick. I think the Celtics want and need height. Brandan Wright and Yi are the long guys.

10) Can the Hawes talk die? He's not in the mix. Yes he has nice moves and nice footwork. But he's slooow. If he could get Scotty to beam him from one end of the court to the other he'd be perfect. But Scotty has sadly passed on now and this will not happen. Let someone else have the slow guy. This Celtics team will run or lose.

If the pick is kept, take a fast tall athletic guy. Please.