Wednesday, May 21, 2008

10 ECF Things

1) Good Start

It was a fine win in game one. But only Celtics fans with serious short term memory loss will find the victory excessively gloat-worthy.

We've been here before against the Hawks and Cavs and the Pistons are better than either of those teams. Though there was a lot to love about Game 1, it was only 1 Game.


2) Chauncey

There are some encouraging signs though. The first and biggest is, whether due to rust or the leg strain Chauncey was off. Shockingly Detroit looked great against Orlando without Mr. Billups. Stuckey filled in admirably and the Pistons rolled.

The Celtics are not Orlando. They are much better defensively and Stuckey (though he is very talented) is a bit inexperienced to handle lead guard under that sort of pressure.

At the beginning of the game when Flip put Rip on Rondo you knew something was not right. If Chauncey remains hampered, Detroit is in for some pain. Rondo's speed becomes devastating if you're limping.


3) Comcast

Hats off to the TV guys at Comcast New England. Their coverage has been nothing short of magnificent. Only a few years ago they used to spend Celtic halftimes talking about the Red Sox and Patriots. Now their pre and postgame shows are wall to wall interviews, press conferences, and insight. Excellent job. I can't compliment them enough.

(By the way I always get a kick out of hearing Celticblog's Justin Poulin ask a postgame question to Doc, Pierce or Garnett. That's so cool.)


4) No Freakin' Freaks

The Cavs are not as good as Detroit but Cleveland does have something the Pistons lack: impossible individual match ups. No matter who you have on your squad, LeBron is an enormous problem and Zydrunas Ilgauskas is just too tall. Detroit clobbers their opponents with poise, precision and a starting five with stingers at every position. They lack impossible people though.


5) Click Your Heels Judy Garland

"There's no place like home." 9-0 now. 0-6 on the road. This oddity ends soon (I think). In Game 1 Boston played like the regular season Celtics for the first time in weeks. With Eddie House in the rotation instead of Sam Cassell the team that had the best road record during the first 82 might just be back.

Let's hope so. No doubt many of us can't keep doing these locked-up Game 5's and 7's without health risks.


6) Sometimes teams win

The internet can be a disturbingly negative place can't it? In many darkened sectors of the virtual world no one ever actually WINS a game. Every loss happens because someone did something wrong. I mean, if everyone plays well and both coaches are brilliant, someone is still going to lose.


7) Along Those Lines

Doc is not alternately brilliant and dumb. He's coaching the same way every game. Sometimes he finds a guy isn't producing and switches to another option. That's the nature of a club with such a deep bench.


8) SA/LA

The West finals are something too. The Duncan swipers vs. the pernicious forces of the netherworld. I know many want a Boston/LA finals. Not me. I want a Boston/Anybody final, but would prefer San Antonio. I just feel unclean watching the Lakers. Plus capturing the holy grail of the 17th banner against Duncan just seems like it was meant to be.


9) How 'Bout Them Bulls?

Wasn't it great not caring about the lottery? After recent years many of us never want to see another ping pong ball as long as we live.

Funny how the conspiracy devotees had every scenario mapped out except Chicago.


10) Game 2

The Pistons are dangerous. They bounced back twice against Philly, but the Sixers won their game with overwhelming intensity, which Detroit then matched.

It might be different this time. The Celtics won the first contest on talent. Detroit can raise their fervor but not their talent level. The Garnett and Pierce match ups will continue to give them serious trouble (and maybe Rondo too). If Ray Allen finds his stroke this series might just be over quickly.

We can only hope.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

10 Things About Road Losses

Frustrating isn't it? The Celtics are 0-5 away from Boston in the playoffs. I have ten theories about why they cannot win a single game on the road.

From least plausible to most plausible:


1) Malevolent Force

Since the 80's there is a great body of evidence supporting the malevolent force theory. The Celtics have been derailed by incompetence, hideous luck, ping pong pox, and tragedy. It's happened so frequently that one can only assume a huge unseen force really has it in for the team.


2) You Did It

You didn't sit in your lucky chair, or wear your sure-win hat, or cross your legs the right way, or your Celtics victory-dog was sleeping the wrong room. You yelled too loud, or not loudly enough. Your friend or co-worker or brother-in-law jinxed them.

Whatever you did, stop doing it. Whatever you didn't do, do it Wednesday night.


3) Karmic Retribution

I wrote a lot about Karma the last few years. (Admittedly I was grasping at straws during some dreadful seasons.)
Anyway the cumulative karma of Celtic-nation must have ebbed below minimally acceptable standards thereby by bringing on terrible vengeance from an unseen yet resplendent host...


4) Hoop Gods

...of hoop gods. Everyone knows the basketball universe is ruled by many gods. Ours is not a monotheistic cosmos.

The hoops gods are notoriously fickle. They greatly appreciate such offerings as making one last lay-up before you leave the court, no-peek free throws, and lofting one through the rim from behind the back-board. Yet even these regular rituals cannot always placate a warring host of hoop lords.

Sometimes they just like smiting things and right now they're smiting the Celtics.


5) Overwhelmed By Dark Forces

Staying on the metaphysical path... Everyone besides us hates the Celtics. They hate us because of the 16 banners. They hate us because of the 66 wins. They hate us because we're so astonishingly dazzingly beautiful. No one hates the Jazz or the Hornets. I think maybe the cosmic ether has been poisoned by all this negative thought.


6) Tony Allen Isn't Playing

He plays hard- often out of control but always hard. The Celtics have been too passive without him.


7) Eddie House Isn't Playing

Eddie has his weaknesses, but the second unit offense did flow a little better when he was in there. Plus he spreads the floor. That might allow a lane for Pierce to drive more.


8) Brian Scalabrine Isn't Playing

If he was, the team would be buoyed by a rising sea of intangibles.


9) The Playoffs Really Are Different

It is not good when all these veteran players are affected by hooting Georgians and Buckeyes. I mean, they had the best road record in the league during the regular season. Now- nothing. Ugh. This is a bad sign for future rounds (should they get past the Cavs).


10) Tight Tight Tight

They're not playing their game. The body language is bad. Garnett isn't acting crazy enough; he's too subdued now. They're all thinking too much as if they're playing together for the first time. No one has taken the climb-on-my-back Cedric Maxwell role. Instead of pushing the ball for easy opportunities, they keep walking it up and letting the defense get set. They keep settling for jumpers instead of slashing and burning inside. Loosen up and play free guys.



In closing let me remind everyone that though the Celtics are 0-5 on the road during these playoffs, they are 6-0 at home. They have homecourt advantage throughout. No one's beaten them yet in Boston, and that's where game 5 will be played.

Friday, May 9, 2008

10 Second Round Things

1) Cassell

Sam did good last night. In fact Sam did good in the first Cleveland game as well.

Still, on the subject of the point guard rotation that did not stop panic and wild accusations from many corners of the great green nation: "Why isn't Eddie House playing!?" "Rondo should play 43 minutes!" "I tell you there's no reason for Sam Cassell to be playing extended minutes!"

From a little nugget of truth --The-offense-is-sometimes-slower-when-Sam-runs-the-show-- came a tsunami of silliness.

Down 10, Mr. Sam with his close personal associates Leon Powe and James Posey, flat out won that game last night. Rondo uncharacteristically struggled early with two turnovers, two shots blocked, and a few missteps on defense.

Cassell entered and saved the day. No Sam, maybe no win.


2) House

Yes it would be pleasant if somehow Eddie House got some time too. The team does maintain the pace more consistently when House is in there. But there are 12 guys who could play and cold numbers determine that some remain seated. Right now those three are House, Big Baby and Tony Allen. Meanwhile Sam Cassell seems to have passed some critical point of cumulative court time where now he's playing on instinct with his new club instead of thinking. Whatever it is the Celtics are up 2-0 and Sam's a big part of it.

Still, Eddie House may yet play a key role in this championship run.


3) 2-0

As far as being up 2-0, haven't we been here before (like last week)? And didn't Detroit lead Cleveland 2-0 last year in the East finals? In other words, game 3 is obviously BIG. I do like the overall match up though. With only one athletic slasher as opposed to the Hawks' 3 or 4, Cleveland could well remain stymied for two more contests.


4) Bulpett

I love Steve Bulpett. He's my favorite Celtics scribe. He writes very well, is funny and has an easy-going personality. When he was interviewed on the postgame last night, I also noticed he slightly resembles Will Farrell. I think Steve could adequately fill in for Will should the comedian ever need an emergency understudy. Hollywood beckons Steve!


5) Ingrained

Every time West and Wally scored last night, I had a weird sensation. I automatically felt like two points should have gone on the board for Boston. Then reality snapped in. Oh yeah they got traded. Last year's team despite the horrific record was very likable.

But I'm sure everyone agrees: this year's team is just slightly preferable.


6) Posey

Whoa. What defense by this man. Key threes. Infectious energy. Posey's been great. I got a nickname for him: How about King James? It hasn't been used anywhere before has it?


7) Chauncey?

Billups tender hammy will spell doom for Detroit if he can't come back. The Pistons win that series with Billups healthy because he just destroys Jameer Nelson. But no Chauncey- no chancy. Nelson comes alive with Billups out. So...


8) Looking Ahead Before I Should

As much as I love the team-wide match up vs. the Cavs, I do not like the same thing (potentially) against Orlando. The Magic have two very tall mobile forwards who are dead-eye from long range. They also have Big Scary Dwight down low. Turkoglu and Lewis take the Celtics forwards way outside. This allows Howard to work alone against Perkins. The whole thing stretches the Celtics too far apart- kind of like tearing fabric. If the Celtics can put away Cleveland and Billups doesn't recover, a Boston/Orlando series will be difficult.

Imagine the new wave of silly-talk that will be generated if Orlando's hitting from outside. it will make the Sam Cassell thing look like nothing.

Regardless, should the Celtics prevail against the Cavs, either Orlando or Detroit will be very tough.


9) Mike and Tommy

Only one more Mike and Tommy game? And only if this series goes to 6 games? Noooooooooo!


10) Road

Lest we forget the Celtics had the best road record in the NBA this season. They faltered in Atlanta. I'm sure they're more aware of that than any of us.

Take game three fellas. Take game three.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

10 Playoff Things

Have you gotten mad at your television set recently? Have you raised your voice to it? Swore at it? Shut it off and left the room only to return moments later to turn it back on and yell at it again?

Did you momentarily (or even permanently) lose your faith in this team's ability to win?

Are you hoarse? Furious? Relieved? Confused? Do you love/hate/love/hate/love what's going on? Did the coach do a great job, then a horrible job, then a great job?

Are you having fun?

Welcome to playoff basketball. It's only the first round.



2) Alphabet Plan

Theoretically this is the optimal way things should go:

A) Atlanta loses to

B) Boston. Who then beats

C) Cleveland and

D) Detroit. Making the Celtics

E) East champions, and taking them to the

F) Finals, which of course they also win.

G) Good, huh?


3) V Is For

Taking a momentary detour: did you know the Hawks Salim Stoudamire is a vegetarian? True.

As it turns out, it's not only for slender bench riding guards. All time NBA first team badass Maurice Lucas was also a vegetarian. (His teammate big Bill Walton was another.) For those too young to remember the champion Blazers of the late 70's, Mr. Lucas was a very scary man.

The following is from Henry Abbot's Truehoop blog on ESPN.com:

"Red Hot and Rollin', that book about the 1977 Portland Trail Blazers, has gotten a lot of play on ESPN.com -- and deservedly so. But there's one great little detail that I just have to add to the mix. It comes from a conversation the book's editor, Matt Love, had with Maurice Lucas: Lucas: I was a vegetarian for my whole career in professional basketball. ... I read a couple really nice books on proper nutrition, eating the proper things, meditation. I was doing a lot of transcendental meditation, and so with that and the food, it all came together and worked. Of course, my mom thought I was crazy, that I had lost my mind.

Love: What did the other guys in the league think about your vegetarianism? That is unheard of today.

Lucas: Well, when I beat them all up they wouldn't say jack."


4) Playoff Realignment?

Nuh-uh.

Remember the good old days when the western part of the United States was filled with rugged self-reliant types like mountain men and range riders? No more. Now whining is the favorite past-time of the formerly great West.

Golden State had a better record than Atlanta. Boo freakin' hoo. In the words of the great Julie London, "Cry me a river."

There cannot be a playoff realignment that breaks up the regional conference apparatus and replaces it with a national 1-16 system.

Why? WHY? You want to know why? I'll tell you why: Let's say hypothetically that New Jersey, New York, Philadelphia, and Portland are all in the playoffs. In the first round Portland plays New Jersey, and New York plays Philly. Both series go seven games. New Jersey and New York both win and meet in the second round...

You want unfair? That's unfair. The Knicks are rested because their travel time between cities was meaningless, while the Nets had to fly cross-country at least four times and are completely exhausted.

My solution: Keep the current system and deport all whiners west of the Mississippi to Los Angeles. They weren't exactly bringing this issue up in the 80's when it worked in their favor, were they?



5) Who Shot the Clock?

Back to the Hawks: Did you become despondent after game three when Atlanta gutted out a win? It's ok. The end result of the series will be the same. Now the Hawks can go home and have a happy restful summer.

You know who else could use some rest? The Atlanta technical staff.



6) Here's What Caused The Problems

The Hawks played with surprising poise and fury, but the cause of the two road losses was that the Celtics lapsed on D. What got them 66 wins and the best record in basketball was their smothering defense. In games 3 and 4 they forgot it. Yes the offense sputtered, but offense always comes and goes. The defense was shockingly bad for the two road games. That in turn was the cause of the spotty offense.


7) Is it Over?

I mean the road maladies and shoddy D. Yes. Of course. At least I believe so. I think they'll come out and win game 6.

...but you never know.


8) How To React If Game 6 Unfolds Like Games 3 and 4

Start by gesturing at your television set. You may sputter something incoherent at first. Next form those indecipherable sounds into real words. Finally, yell very loudly at your television set just like in the other two road games. It will help. You'll feel better and your TV won't care.

Also if recordings of all of us yelling at our TVs could be put together I think it would make a great DVD. Think of it: Hundreds of people one after another, yelling at the refs, the coach, the players, the other players, the scorekeeper, David Stern, the TNT announcers, etc. We could call it Green Rage. It would gross dozens of dollars.


9) Or Else

The Celtics could just go back to winning. Then we could just make believe none of this ever happened. If the Celtics win game 6, I think we should all agree never to speak of this series again.


10) In Closing

My fellow greenhearts, I hope Friday night is a serene and celebratory evening for all of us. I hope you sleep restfully and wake up happy Saturday morning thinking of round 2 match ups.